FIND comfort and connection through shared words and CREATE quiet companionship, one letter at a time.

There are some losses that don't fit neatly into words and some stories that are too precious to carry alone.

Letters After Loss is a gentle pen pal and writing membership for women who have lost a spouse or life partner.

It exists for those who miss having someone to write to and someone who understands without needing the story explained.

Losing the person you love changes everything. The world keeps moving, but you’re left trying to make sense of a life that now feels completely different.

For the quiet souls

If you’ve ever felt out of place in big online groups or found it hard to open up, you’re not alone. Letters After Loss was created for those who connect best in quieter, more meaningful ways.

Through the gentleness of letter writing, you can share your story at your own pace and form a bond that feels safe, genuine, and deeply human.

Sometimes, the most powerful connections are the ones made in silence, through words written from the heart.

In those early years of grief...

It can feel like no one truly understands. You want to talk about your loved one, to keep their memory alive, but sometimes it feels like the world has moved on.

That’s why we created Letters After Loss - a space where women who have lost a spouse or life partner can connect through the simple, healing act of writing to each other.

It is not about fixing grief, but about finding connection and comfort and being quietly accompanied on this journey of loss.

Letters After Loss is...

...about feeling seen and not alone.

You’ll be paired with another woman who shares your desire to write and connect.

Together, you’ll exchange letters that bring comfort, understanding, and friendship.

INTRODUCING

LETTERS AFTER LOSS

A personal pen pal match with care and intention so that you’ll have plenty of topics to write about.

A welcome guide so you’ll know exactly how to write your first letter.

Monthly publication delivered to your home address with writing themes and ideas.

Monthly handwritten letter from your pen pal

Clear guidelines to protect members

HOW IT WORKS

Fill out the form

Share a little bit about yourself and your story. This helps us understand where you are in your grief journey so we can thoughtfully match you with a pen pal who will truly understand.

Choose your membership

There are two ways to be part of Letters After Loss.

The Pen Pal Circle
A comforting space to connect through words. You’ll be thoughtfully matched with a pen pal who understands your journey. Each month, you’ll exchange one handwritten letter, receive a physical newsletter in the post, and enjoy gentle writing prompts to guide your reflections.

The Love Notes Circle
Everything from The Pen Pal Circle, with a few extra touches of care. You’ll also receive personal notes and cards from me on significant or tender dates, offering a little extra comfort when you need it most.

Receive details of your pen pal match

Once we’ve carefully matched you, you’ll receive your pen pal’s name and unique ID number. This helps us keep everything organised while you begin your letter writing journey together.

Start writing and receiving letters

Now it’s time to begin your letter-writing journey. You’ll start exchanging letters with your pen pal, sharing stories, memories, and moments of comfort. And don’t worry if you’re unsure what to write about, we’ll be here with gentle prompts and guidance to help you along the way.

You're not alone in this

Every letter is a small act of healing, a reminder that your story matters and that someone out there truly understands. Whether you join The Pen Pal Circle or The Love Notes Circle, you’ll be part of a caring community that believes in the power of words to bring comfort, connection, and hope.

About me

I'm Caroline and this is my late partner Paul.

In March 2025, I lost Paul to cancer. Just three weeks earlier, we thought he had an infection. Instead, we were told it was oesophagus cancer, and there was nothing that could be done.

Those weeks were filled with love, hope, and heartbreak. Before he passed, Paul told me I was strong enough to get through this, and I hold on to that every day. He also made me promise that he’d never be forgotten, and I never will forget him.

Grief is heavy. Some days it feels impossible, and others, I can almost feel him beside me, cheering me on. After the funeral came the endless “death admin". The letters, bills, forms were all reminders of what I’d lost. The post became something I dreaded.

I missed the handwritten notes Paul used to leave me, the cards filled with love and thoughtfulness. I longed for that kind of connection again.

So I reached out and found a pen pal, someone who had also lost her person. Through our letters, I found comfort, understanding, and friendship. That’s when I realised others might need this too.

That’s how Letters After Loss began. A space to build friendships, one letter at a time.

If you’re longing for connection, understanding, and a gentle way to heal, I’d love for you to join us. Click below to start writing your first letter today.

Got a question?

Who will I get matched with?

When you sign up, you’ll answer a few simple questions about yourself. Using your answers, we carefully match you with someone who shares similar interests and experiences, so your letter exchange feels natural and meaningful from the start.

What if my match isn't quite the right fit?

We do our best to pair you with someone you'll connect with, but sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find the right fit. If you feel your first match isn’t quite right, just let us know and we’ll happily rematch you with someone new.

How are pen pals matched?

While we’re all here because of loss, each of us is at a different stage in our journey. We take great care to match you with someone who feels like a good fit, often someone at a similar point in their grief. Using the information you share when you sign up, we’ll pair you with someone who has similar interests, values, or ways of expressing themselves, so your first letters feel comfortable and genuine.

What if my pen pal stops writing?

If your pen pal stops writing, we’ll gently reach out to find out what’s happened. In the meantime, someone from our team will step in to write to you each month, so you’ll continue to receive letters and feel supported. We’ll either find you a new match or reconnect you with your original pen pal if they’re ready to write again.

How often do I have to write?

We ask that you commit to writing once a month.

How do you keep my address safe?

Your privacy is really important to us. When you sign up, you’ll be given a unique ID number for yourself and your pen pal. All letters are sent through our head office, where we match the ID numbers with the correct addresses. This means your personal address is never shared directly with your pen pal.

I don't know what to write about.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone in feeling that way. Each month, along with your letter from your pen pal, you’ll also receive a newsletter from us filled with ideas, monthly themes, and plenty of inspiration to help your words flow.

I can't get to a postbox, can I send an email instead.

I’m afraid not. Letters After Loss is all about the comfort and connection that comes from receiving a handwritten note in the post. Each letter is written and sent by hand, creating something truly personal and meaningful to hold onto.

What are the membership levels.

There are two ways to be part of Letters After Loss. The Pen Pal Circle includes a carefully matched pen pal, one handwritten letter each month, a physical newsletter posted to you, and gentle writing prompts to help you along the way. The Love Notes Circle includes everything in the first, plus a few extra personal touches, such as thoughtful acknowledgements of significant or difficult dates.

I'm not technically a 'widow' can I still join?

Absolutely. Letters After Loss is for women who have lost a spouse or life partner, whether you were married or not. I’m not technically a widow either, so please know you’re very welcome here.

What is Letters After Loss?

Letters After Loss is a space for quiet connection and gentle companionship. It’s a place for those who have lost a partner to feel seen, supported, and remembered. Through handwritten letters, we create moments of human connection that remind us we’re not alone, even in our grief.

What is Letters After Loss not

Letters After Loss isn’t counselling or crisis support, and there’s never any expectation to share traumatic experiences. It’s a space for gentle connection through handwritten letters, not a place for therapy. Clear guidelines are in place to protect and support everyone who takes part.

What if I want to cancel?

We completely understand that circumstances can change. There’s no cancellation fee, and you’re free to cancel at any time. All we ask is for one month’s notice so we can thoughtfully find a new match for your pen pal.

How is my information kept private?

Your pen pal will only receive the details you choose to share. All personal addresses are kept private, and for your safety, we strongly recommend not sharing them. When you join, you’ll receive a welcome guide with helpful do’s and don’ts to keep your correspondence safe and comfortable.

While we can’t vet every member, we encourage you to use your best judgement. If you ever feel uncomfortable or are asked to share information you’d rather keep private, please let us know straight away so we can take appropriate action.